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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25817911">song on the beach</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveclubwriting/pseuds/loveclubwriting'>loveclubwriting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drug Use, M/M, party au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:34:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25817911</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveclubwriting/pseuds/loveclubwriting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sicheng wakes up at a party.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>song on the beach</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wanted to envoke the feeling of being confused and alone at a party, like your seeing yourself doing everything but your not really aware of it. My writing still has a long way to go, but this was a story that popped into my head and i wanted to see where it was headed, maybe ill make it a series. The title is a song which i would recommend listening to while reading this, maybe that is what envokes the otherness that i was trying to portray in anycase have fun reading. Also mentions of drugs and alcohol are in this so please bare that in mind.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sicheng wakes up to a loud bass ringing in his ears, it shakes everything around him he feels the vibrations moving up his body. The room is pitch black the only light that's coming through is from underneath the crack of the door, its green and he feels like he's in a movie about martians attacking earth, and the light is from a spaceship. He scoffs at the idea, feeling the way his mouth is particularly dry and he hears a grunt next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sees Jaehyun trying to cover his ears from the noise that's been vibrating from inside them. Green light hits Jaehyun’s face and his features are looking so soft, Jaehyun always looks beautiful. He stands up and goes closer to the door and he opens it to find strangers dancing in the living room, the light that was once green now is a blue hue and the music seems to change when the colors change. He finds Taeil sitting down looking bored and somewhat annoyed and when Sicheng follows his gaze he finds him looking at Johnny talking to a girl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeil acknowledges Sicheng sitting next to him and gives him a nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What's that?” Sicheng points to the red cup Taeil is holding so tightly it might break. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dont know, it has a bunch of shit mixed in” he replies and Sicheng just hums. He still holds out his hand and Taeil hands it over easily. Before he puts it to his mouth the smell of alcohol hits him like a punch and Sicheng has half the mind to cough but doesnt want to seem uncool so he just holds his breath and drinks it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It tastes as bad as it smells and it goes down his throat fast but not fast enough still feeling the burning sensation going through his esophagus and finally pouring to his stomach like a waterfall. He only has half a brownie and now whatever drink Taeil made in his system and he thinks that he really needs to treat his body better. Thinking about his mom who always told him to treat his body like a temple. He laughs at the thought, as if he believes in that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mind hyperfocusing on everything finds himself looking at Johnny the same way Taeil is. The girl he's with is pretty, dark long brown hair, olive skin, her hands roam all over Johnny's back and then Johnny turns her around so that hes the one with his back facing the wall almost as if he wants to make sure Taeil notices that in fact they are kissing. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng glances over to Taeil and his face is dark with jealousy and he looks back at Johnny, his eyes now open, kissing the girl but looking directly at Taeil. Taeil mutters underneath his breath something that Sicheng can't make out, and stands up to leave.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The music is different and everything is purple. He leans back and closes his eyes once more. If he focuses his eyes on the underneath side of his eyelids he can make out the galaxy, he wonders where we would live if he could choose to, maybe in the eye of the storm that has been alive inside of Jupiter ever since it was discovered. He often finds himself in those type of situations, where he feels calm even though everything around him is breaking apart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The music changes to something else that Sicheng can't find himself focusing on, he still is dreaming of Jupiter, of floating in the middle of the storm, and looking up to jupiters sky. What does Jupiter sky look like? Not blue right? He thinks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels the couch dipping beside him and he opens his eyes once more, and pink. Its all pink and he turns to see Yukhei smiling at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng is now so aware of his face, of his heart, of the pink light around Yukhei, he imagines hearts all around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Yukhei says something, Sicheng doesn't understand. He tells him to repeat what he said, Yukhei looks at him with fondness in his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You seem pretty gone” Yukhei closes the gap between them, Yukheis breath on Sichengs ear sends goosebumps all through his body, he wonders if Yukhei noticed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sicheng just smiles and nods. He is, even though Jaehyun just gave him half of the edible, he still feels as if he ate it all. No wonder Jaehyun is out cold in his room, normally Sicheng sleeps it off, likes the dreams his mind comes up with when he's high, but the bass was too loud and he felt as though it was right next to his ear. He was in that room, because when Jaehyun gets high he likes to makeout with Sicheng, he likes Jaehyun enough to makeout with him, but he likes Yukhei more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't really think Yukhei would come, he only has one class with him and Yukheis friends are all too posh and rich to ever come to a party like the ones Yuta throws, but maybe Yukhei likes Sicheng too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you have?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you know. A brownie.” Sicheng responds in giggles. Yukhei nods and keeps on smiling at him, the light is orange now. Sicheng feels brave all of a sudden. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Want to get something to drink?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, you lead the way.” and so they both stand up. Sicheng grabs Yukheis hand and they go to the Kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta lives with Jaehyun, Johnny and Doyoung. They live in a rundown house that one can almost compare it to frat house, except is smaller and in not a nice part of town, but if people want to throw a party this is the place. Sicheng has been friends with Yuta since his first semester in college, he became a close to them over the course of a few months and almost moved in with them when Mark had to move out, but instead Doyoung moved in and now he lives with Taeil, Taeyong and Donghyuck. They dote on him, Sicheng secretly enjoys it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The house is rundown and isn't as dirty as one might think, right now though its filthy and the floor feels sticky when he walks down to the kitchen due to all the spilled drinks, the orange light is getting overpowered by the light in the kitchen, so white that through Sicheng eyes it looked infernal.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta is talking to Mark when they enter the kitchen and Sicheng smiles at them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, dude you okay?” Mark asks Sicheng he feels his cheeks burn, but then again he feels hot all over, again suddenly aware of the way his tongue feels dry and to big for his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng turns around and Yukhei puts his big hand onto his forehead, another chill goes down Sichengs spine all though this time it's due to Yukhei’s cold hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your hands are too cold, are you sure you're alive?” Sicheng jokes grabbing Yukheis hand from his forehead and holding it to his mouth breathing hot air on to it, like he does when his hands get cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yukhei stares at him eyes wide in disbelief, but he doesn't do anything to remove his hands from Sichengs grasp. Yuta laughs in the background, filling up the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He's fine Mark look at him, making his moves.”  Yuta says in a joking voice. Mark laughs. Sicheng stops and lets go of Yukhei’s hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He goes to the sink where there's some bags filled with ice and some drinks. He grabs one for Yukhei and himself, he gives it to him and they exit the kitchen. Not holding hands this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He notices the girl that Johnny was kissing is now sitting on the couch where he was just minutes ago, he frowns. Where is he supposed to sit now. He feels bad for the girl obviously knowing she's just a pawn in the game Johnny and Taeil always play, he doesnt get why they can't just be together, and when he tells Yuta this, he just responds that love isn't always easy and Sicheng has never been in love to argue with that.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lights are now green again, and he notices that the room where he and Jaehyun had slept is open and he looks for him, finally finding him staring at where he is with Yukhei, Jaehyun smiles and him and for some reason Sicheng feels guilty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the span of the minute where he was standing thinking of what to do, the girl gets up from the couch and he gestures Yukhei to sit down, and so he does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you gonna sit?” Yukhei asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right here.” he responds taking a seat on Yukheis lap, he hears a soft oh leaving Yukhei’s lips but he's tired of standing up and he's too high to think straight, hes liked Yukhei for to long, the way his big hands run through his always perfect hair, his button nose, the way sometimes when he raises his hands his shirt lifts up and he can see his boxers. His mind lately has always been filled with Yukhei. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns again and Jaehyun is still staring at him. He isn't doing this to make Jaehyun jealous, the way Johnny and Taeil do, the way he likes Yukhei is different from the way he likes Jaehyun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns back to look at Yukhei and now mouth inches away from each other, Sicheng takes the plunge and kisses him. Yukhei kisses him back, now his hands on his hair and his tongue making its way inside of Sicheng, he isn't really a french kisser but Yukhei makes it seem so easy and he gets lost in the hot and wetness of Yukheis mouth that he almost forgets to breathe, so he breaks the kiss trying to get air in his lungs he notices that now the color is back to orange. He's been keeping track of time by the way the colors change, and has it really been that long since they’ve been kissing? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels a vibration this time different from the one the bass makes, and Yukheis hips jolt up as he grabs his phone from his pocket. Sicheng, still on his lap tries to focus on what he's saying, but again the combination of alcohol and weed isn't good for his attention span.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I'm sorry but i have to go.” Yukhei tells him after he puts his phone back into his pockets, he moves to get up and Sicheng just plops to the space next to them. He must be frowning because Yukhei bends down and gives him a peck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'm sorry, I really enjoyed this. We should go out next time.” Yukhei says apologetically, and hes off into the night. Sicheng feels somewhat disappointed, but he's excited that after weeks of fawning over he got to kiss him and is going on a date. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walks down to the bathroom, he closes the door behind him and just sits down on the toilet. The noise seems miles away inside this little haven, the tiles resemble the sea and some tiles even look like dolphins,the light coming in is blue. He's cold now, everything is echoing around him and he closes his eyes and thinks of the beach, of soft hands around him, of lips that he cant quite distinguish. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snaps out of whatever daze he's in due to a harsh knocking on the door,  he splashes water onto his face feeling refreshed, and opens the door to see Jaehyun looking at him. He gives him a soft smile like his trying to communicate something, he doesn't even know what he's trying to do but Jaehyun justs nods like he understands, and maybe he does, he always knows what he means even before he does. He moves inside of the bathroom leaving Sicheng again in a trance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He finds himself feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden, maybe it's the red light and the harsh sounds he feels his heart moving inside of his chest, like it has his own free will, or maybe just maybe its the way Jaehyun looked at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He goes outside and settles onto the green grass to envelop him whole, he lays down sofly then he looks up to the sky and sees cotton clouds, they look like snow clouds. Winter is fast approaching, he shudders, the grass is filled with dew. He doesn't really know how long he stays in that position watching the clouds gather up and blocking the soft light the stars are beaming, the moon is no where in sight. He misses her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His shivering though, that much he notices even though everything feels so far away, maybe this is what it feels like to float through the eye of jupiter's storm, he wonders if it has a name. I'll google it tomorrow he thinks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly the harsh music starts to calm down, which he knows is due to the fact that everyone has left or is leaving and now Taeil has control of the music. He thinks of him and Johnny, how simple things would be if they would just accept the feelings they most obviously have for eachother, but then again.He has feelings that he isn't accepting, doesn't he? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels soft footsteps approaching and appearing above him a soft face appears. Jaehyun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng moves to a sitting position. “Hey.” he responds. Jaehyun squats down next to him. “You’re all wet.” he points to Sichengs back, he only hums in agreement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun takes his jacket off, putting it on Sicheng’s back. He feels content now, finally his jaw stops moving, how long has he been shivering? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think we will end up like Taeil and Johnny?” Sicheng says all of a sudden and Jaehyuns eyes open wide in surprise. Sicheng feels the need to explain himself, but Jaehyun should already know what he means. That's what jaehyun does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, in love with each other but not able to be together and have that eat us whole. Like a knife to our neck, just bleeding all over when we should have never had a knife in the first place.” He wonders if Jaehyun understands that reference. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope not.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you so much for reading!<br/>you can find me at curiouscat https://curiouscat.me/citysnow</p></blockquote></div></div>
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